I eat pagans like you for breakfast!

Movie: Jesus Camp
Release Year: 2006
Genre: Documentary

America is being born again, right under our fingernails. It's an itch that we've come to acknowledge, but haven't quite scratched. Perhaps because this rebirth grazes the common land where indeed shakes the amber waves of grain. In the country, in the heartland. But what is a heartland, if it cannot be defined by its heart? Truly, to reach inside that red center (for all its riled blood, and not to mention the hue's political connotations, unintended but for this purpose handy to emerge), with regard to this documentary, we would harp the chordae tendinae and see what music comes out. Indeed, it may sound with all good intent and innocent cadence, but to reach inside and pull out the gunk of the stuff, the real body of it all, you would find - well - not exactly what you would be looking for, in a heart, belonging to America's beloved heartland.

I claim rebirth, happening right here, right now. So does the movie. My opening sentence is its opening tagline. But don't let rebirth fool you; this is no renascence. To imply dormancy would be moving in the wrong direction. The revival has long been underway, and it's been waiting. There is an army being built. An army of Christ, in this "heartland" - an infantry of, well, infants. Now I'm going to press pause. Click.

EMPHASIS NEEDED: It goes without saying (but I'm going to say it anyway) that the film Jesus Camp cannot be discussed without taking a side in the long standing quarrel that is religious politics. I do not wish to ever use this blog for my political or religious platforms, and the expression of my beliefs in this review are purely for relevance to the piece up for review. There are two sides presented in this film, and you are either with one or the other. One is exhibited in the form of a radio talk show host named Mike, a professed moderate Christian whose answer to this whole thing is "what the hell is happening?" - he believes in equality, he's against the side by side teaching of creationism and evolution in our schools, he resists the urge to interpret the Bible literally and most significantly, he insists there should be a separation between church and state. Oh, and also, he feels kids shouldn't be harvested primarily for the theo-political leaning of their parents and elders. Now lets cross the bridge. On the other side, there is Becky Fisher, a round little lady with a voice that in itself would scare away all the demons she preaches against. She also is probably the second reason as to why our ozone is being depleted (note: her hairspray). But I'm not playing fair here. Already I've predisposed you to my conviction on this subject matter by insulting Becky Fisher and her usage of haircare products. Hey, everyone likes a little mousse now and then. Even Jesus.

Press Play.

Fun Fact Time! In the United States of America, 75% of all home-schooled children are raised by or are evangelicals. If every evangelical in the U.S. voted, they would determine the result of every single American election.

But Becky's story exists as one that is truly worthwhile, so lets stay focused and remain on course. Becky works at a camp that's name says it all: Kids on Fire. After watching this film, they are doing everything to these children EXCEPT lighting them on fire. I was waiting for that, but it didn't happen. I was bummed. These kids, anywhere from three to thirteen, learn to speak in tongues and sprawl out on the floor into a fit of frantic, divine epilepsy while bawling their eyes out. It seems like a far cry and painful deviation from the quiet and calm churches we see in most metropoli. One of the girls, lets say Molly, while sitting peacefully outside on a bench, proudly exclaims that there are "dead churches" where people simply sit, sing one or two songs and pray to God. These are not the churches God visits and fills with his love. The churches God wants to visit are the ones where people are jumping up and down and screaming in the aisles, she claims. Those are the houses of worship where God always resides. That's also where Crazy and God play poker.

This child is not guilty of anything at all. As I watched this film, I meditated, gazing into those big brown eyes, wondering about this child and what would become of her. She has the best intentions in the world. This is the same child who in a bowling alley gently approached a blonde, blue-eyed Barbie with tight jeans and God-Bless-America cleavage, handing her a pamphlet, claiming "God wanted me to give this to you" - possessing, of course, all the necessary propaganda. She walked away without a twitch. This girl is good. The girl radiates potential, but the investment at which this promise is going towards remains leery.

The quest is simple. The goal, simpler, and Becky is fast to state it. Infiltration of religion into the government is a must for Christianity's revival and the "saving" of the world as the whole, let alone America.

Early in the film, Becky states that she feels there is no better time to be a Christian in America than now [2006]. She cites George Bush, a "god-fearing, noble man," as spreading the word, supposedly a good word for the Christian community. Ms. Fisher, I couldn't disagree with you more, and I'll tell you why I can. I was born and raised presbyterian, and to this day, consider myself a reformed Christian. Reformed meaning I do not follow the Bible because I believe it was written by men and not God, I believe in equal rights including those belonging to homosexuals, I believe a woman should have the right to choose under any condition, and many more caveats that would make your hairsprayed head light on fire (along with the rest of your kids). I couldn't think of a worse time to be Christian than now. Individuals like you, Becky Fisher, make the Christian community look like a pack of wild, Bible-wielding, fire and brimstone, racist wolves. Your leader, President Bush, makes the word 'imbecile' sound flattering compared to previous epithets. You could not have picked a worse spearhead for your religious vanguard. The evangelicals slander what was once the true, simple meaning and ideal definition of a Christian: someone who accepted EVERYONE despite their differences, someone who could love despite flaws, who could turn the other cheek. A true Christian loves more than hates. To most Americans, Becky, people like you are preaching a sermon of hatred.

But now, of course, maybe I'm not one to talk. After all, I've broken many commandments, do not say my prayers at night, rarely go to church and forgot to thank God in my movie premiere speech. Ouch!

But on an ending note, I ask this, and only this of you....

If a child cries tears for God, do we not comfort them? Are we happy they weep for the lord? Are we happy they weep at all? At what stake have we abandoned innocence? What are we forfeiting? What has been lost? A more frightening question: what has been found?